Like many of us (I'm assuming?), I have a complicated relationship with technology and how it scatters my attention and makes me incapable of focusing on anything important. Seriously. I guess you could say it is less "complicated" and more fraught. Fraught fraught fraught.
Take this morning for a perfect example. Lately I have been getting up at 5:45-6a.m. (what a blessing a programmable coffee maker is, I would never be able to accomplish getting out of bed early without the knowledge that there is a hot cup of coffee waiting for me if I do) to read, write letters, and journal. And I mostly just pretend that I'm alone. (Does that make me a bad wife/mom? I don't think so. Sometimes you just need 20 feet of clear air.) It has been so good for my mental health. It's been fabulous. But this morning I brought my iphone out to the living room with me, and what did I do? I farted around on Facebook, Instagram, and the Etsy app. I think I even opened Twitter. I answered a couple of emails etc. Did I read any poetry? Did I write in my journal? Of course not. Why would I, when the heavy gravitronic pull of the black abyss that is my iphone was sitting on the arm of the couch, not 2ft from my head? Who can focus on higher (HA!) things when the mental equivalent of a glass of cold beer is waiting with just the swipe of a finger? Not me, apparently. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE ACTUAL INTERNET ENABLED ON MY PHONE. (Mainly because I can't handle it responsibly and I have my husband lock it up under the restrictions with a passcode that I don't know. I had to delete pinterest, because I figured out a way to access the internet through it. It was like having cake in the house. I couldn't not eat it.)
Why expose yourself to temptation like that, if you have such a problem, you might ask? Because I have a business! And a business needs tending and social promotion (I guess). I was so reluctant to join any of these things, and now I have Instagram, Twitter, and a Facebook page for my business (all in a day). Perhaps I'm revealing how (willfully) ignorant I am about this stuff? Are there things I don't even know about that I should be doing instead? Is Twitter old and musty? I know I'm a bit late to the party, but has it already moved to another location? Tell me, please, you people who are hipper than me! Please. Honestly, I don't really see the point of Twitter, but I'm following the herd and playing along. I did follow a few things the other day that I think I will like, but will it be more enriching than a well chosen book? (Do I sound like an old lady maiden aunt who has no sense of humor? I like Vines, okay? I like them!) Maybe I shouldn't compare. But there are opportunity costs, and every minute I spend perusing my Twitter feed is a minute that I'm not reading Mary Oliver.
But here I am, taking the plunge with all of this, and most of it is easiest to use on a smart phone rather than a computer. I don't think you can even really use instagram from the computer, correct me if I'm wrong. So what am I to do? Cultivate more self-control? Set myself a time limit? Put myself on a schedule? AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS TROUBLE WITH THE INTERNET AND ASSOCIATED FLIM FLAMMERING APPS? I can't be. But no one talks about it.
Anyway. I wanted to use this platform to tell everyone about my new instagramming, twittering, facebooking exploits. I guess I shouldn't accompany it with a screed about how much I hate it all and how much it kills my brain. But I'm so conflicted about it that I can't help myself. This is how I feel about it: necessary evil. Not because it is evil, but because it is not great for me personally. It would be like getting a job in a pastry shop. Nothing is wrong with pastries, quite the opposite. But for me it would be a fat and sugar filled orgiastic disaster.
So here I am, reluctantly socially connecting:
It is all under my new business name, because I've decided to just quit dithering and go with it. I might change my blog too, but when I tried it didn't redirect from the old name to the new.
All right, now for some pretty photos, if you managed to slog through all of the above. I hope you just scrolled down as quickly as you could: